Eyeliner
by Canadino
Summary: Because when you got down to it, he was just a fanfiction author and doujinshi artist with a knowledgable girlfriend, touchy cousins, and attended a rather dramatic school. fem!Greece/Japan


**Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the story idea and only some of the witty remarks. I own so little; so please don't steal.**

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Eyeliner

_Mukuro leaned closer, his breath hitting the cold air like so many tiny knives exploding into steam and rising like so many spirits he had since possessed. He could feel the boy's skittishness, smiled almost slyly as Basil looked up to meet his eyes, wavering blue to his mismatched ones. "Bella," he purred, wrapping his arm slowly and deliberately around the younger's trembling figure, shifting so the cold pavement wasn't the thing in the front of his mind, "if you're so cold, we could definitely take these things inside…"_

Kiku paused, his hands over the keyboard in hesitation. How should he proceed? Make it intimate and deliciously lemony? Or make it fluffy and cute so that even twelve-year-olds could read too? He was unsure of how to continue.

He was aware the music coming from the earbuds in his ears had stopped but he feared that finding a new song would scare the plotline from his head and he would lose it forever.

"Ki_ku_! It's time for dinner!" Yong Soo, his annoying cousin, had stopped by after school again for the twelfth time that month (hadn't he made it clear that although his parents didn't mind, _he_ didn't want that gropy, touchy idiot in his house?). He ignored him, until he heard the stomping of feet coming up the stairs and Yong Soo poked into his room.

He knew he looked so suspicious, really, with his dying desk lamp on the floor and he kneeling next to his laptop, typing away in the dark with an almost isolated pose in the glow of the laptop. His parents had since gotten past the fact that he spent his Friday nights cooped up in his room with his computer, but Yong Soo didn't know that. Well, he probably would, in the coming weeks. "What?" Kiku asked, glancing at his cousin for a moment before turning his attention back to his fanfiction. _Basil's lips trembled, growing an almost affectionate blue…_

"Okay, Kiku, I know that you're okay with you not having a social life, but come on, buddy. You've got to at least eat." Before Kiku could protest, Yong Soo used his toe to close the laptop and heaved up his cousin by the arm at the same instance. The earbuds fell out of his ears and clattered onto the floor next to the desk lamp, which flickered. "Change that bulb, would you?"

"It's fine," Kiku insisted, squirming as Yong Soo dragged him out of his room. His cousin maintained he was straight, but no one could really tell. Sure, he groped Yao like no other, but one had to bear in mind that Yao was his curvy _cousin_ as well. Apparently, incestuous relationships were not beyond him. Kiku wanted no part of it. "I can walk by myself."

"Come on, Kiku," Yong Soo badgered, following him down the stairs. "You stay home by yourself, listen to music in the privacy of your own room, and write those creepy stories of yours! Don't you want to go outside, maybe smell a few roses, see a few girls?"

"No."

"Oh, I forgot. Herculia. I know she doesn't mind you writing your 'fanfiction'," he said, making dramatic air quotes, "but when was the last time you took her out for a good time?"

Kiku couldn't remember himself but he wasn't going to let Yong Soo know that.

"You are a clever player, scoring with a third year when you're just a second year, but really! I don't know why she stays with you. You don't do shit."

Kiku would make the point that he was quite the internet idol when it came to the fanfiction community but he decided it would not help his argument. Not that there _was_ one – Yong Soo just seemed to be talking to himself, even after Kiku had sat down and started eating.

"Thanks for the food," his cousin said quickly to his mother before turning back to him. "Are you listening? Kiku? I'm talking to you. Hello? God! I guess I'll just call Yao up then. She'll listen to me."

He wasn't. In fact, he was still running around a few endings in his head when he felt a hand creep up his chest and grope at breasts that were non-existent.

Yong Soo dodged the chopsticks that came flying at him like ninja weapons and continued talking to himself.

--

Kiku supposed sitting a deserted art room drawing slightly perverted doujinshi wasn't the perfect way to make friends, but he had enough friends for him to be satisfied and anyway, this was a very pulling storyline and he wanted to continue.

The sliding door opened and he glanced up briefly to see Herculia, looking at him with a rather carefree expression on her face, as she always looked like with tired-looking eyes and a blank mouth. Her hair was curly and messy as usual, as if she had just gotten out of bed (which she probably just did, her having the strange habit of falling asleep at any time in any given place). Her unintentional devil-may-care attitude was easily excused by the fact that it was her last year anyway and she haunted the halls, wandering around wordlessly.

Although this sort of demeanor might put some men off, she still attracted most of the student body with…well, her own body. Unanimously agreed by all the girls in the school, she was probably the best looking girl around; tall, clear skin, big boobs (yet Yong Soo never dared mess with her, Kiku thought amusedly) – flawless, if not for the fact that she slept a lot and rarely spoke. Some called her anti-social; others called her thoughtful.

Personally, Kiku knew her to be quite perverted.

By no means was Herculia easy; no, she despised men who only wanted to sleep with her and preferred to avoid parties with such a collection of individuals. Yet she was more experienced than most students and was allegedly telling Elizavita (who reveled in such discussions) that most boys were lacking in such areas. Of course, this could be taken in many ways.

"It would make more sense for…" And Kiku was more enlightened in ways to draw more satisfying accurate portrayals of certain…activities.

Which was how they met, really. Kiku had known close to nothing about the third year until she stumbled in on him attempting his first NC-17 doujinshi (he was not a pervert; really, he wasn't. It was all in the name of art!); instead of acting disgusted as he expected, Herculia had helpfully pointed out some anatomical mistakes and was very useful in clearing up spots Kiku wasn't sure he wanted to even turn to the Internet for. Yes, afterwards a clever friendship formed and he found every sort of his fan creations (and original prose, he noticed) was more and more realistic than before.

He never considered that she was sleeping around – he suspected she was doing more of actual sleeping than anything.

"You are a very helpful and well-versed girl," he had told her once, to which she replied, "Would you like to be my boyfriend, Kiku?"

No one could quite wrap around their heads why Herculia would choose such an unsuspecting second year as her beau, but Kiku had a hunch it was because they shared the same (perverted) open mind. And they were (kinky) kindred spirits.

So really, his life was average; just the typical existence of a fanfiction/manga artist that liked to stay with himself, with a touchy cousin and several other…unique relatives, and with a girlfriend who was a sleepy, knowledgeable sex goddess.

Some of those things clashed, he thought, but he couldn't help it if he was born in such strange family circumstances.

--

"Kiku, my favorite cousin…you talk to Yong Soo a lot. Could you tell him to lay off me for once? His hands are going to leave prints on my shirts if he keeps touching my chest."

Normally, Kiku thought, it would be an awkward conversation between a boy and a girl, but Yao did this all the time so he supposed he'd already reached beyond that point.

"Honestly! I'm not interested. Even if Yong Soo wasn't my cousin. What's his damage? I know he bothers Maddox and Mei too oh, and you, but it's always me!" Yao gestured at her ample bosom as they walked down the hall, ignoring the way Ivana nodded at her approvingly. "Honestly! He needs a girlfriend."

"He's obsessed with that kind of thing," Kiku said bluntly. "And he likes all sorts of chests."

"Can't you tell Herculia to tell him to lay off? He's like, afraid of her!" Yao tossed her hair, neatly put in a ponytail, about.

"That is true," Kiku noted, although he secretly thought it was rather amusing to watch Yong Soo annoy Yao. Yao had dragged him around when they were younger, insisting they were the best of siblings, and when Yong Soo came around, he no longer had to worry about his bossy cousin taking him about to show him crickets or the moon. It was, in part, a sort of revenge.

"Oh god, here he comes, hide me…!" As Yong Soo cried out happily at the end of the hallway, Yao screamed and sprinted away as Kiku dodged his cousin who was barreling toward them at high speeds. He knew he shouldn't have taken that lunch break.

--

"Kiku! It's been so long since we've hung out like this~! It's all because you're so smart! Taking all those smart classes. Ludwig says you two are in advanced math together. But I wish I was smart enough so we could all do our homework together!"

It was a strange friendship, really. Kiku wondered if he was a magnet for oddness – certainly, his fascination with manga showed him that. Felicia, who seemed to be on the opposite end of the spectrum, had taken an immediate liking to him when she caught him finishing up a painting in the art room (suitable for all ages, he could paint well and chaste too!) and declared they were now friends because their art skills had brought them together. That, of course, meant that he and her boyfriend Ludwig were also friends.

So the three of them were now enjoying a shared free period outside watching the second period first year gym class struggle in the fields while playing softball. Usually, Kiku was in the computer lab typing away but Felicia had intercepted him and pulled him along. He wasn't complaining; it was nice sometimes to sit with friends and just chat.

Also, it was giving him loads of inspiration for new fanfictions watching Romina act very 'tsundere' with Antonio cheering her on from the stands.

"Ludwig and I were just thinking that when we make the pact of silver, we'd want you to be there with us!" Kiku guessed the pact of silver meant a wedding ring, but he didn't need to wonder more. "Oh! And I was thinking that maybe me and Romina could have dual weddings! Wouldn't that be cute, Ludwig?"

Now that she and Ludwig were an official item, Kiku thought it was very lavish the way Felicia showered her affection – not that he would expect otherwise. Ludwig looked a bit awkward of the whole planning process.

"Felicia," he started. "We've still got a lot of time left before we make any decisions and just saying it…"

"Kiku! How about you wear a white suit? Because a load of people are going to be wearing black, and you just coming in in white would be so eye-catching! Oh, and bring Herculia too! She can wear white too. Oh, I wish I could have boobs like hers so I could wear a strapless. Mine aren't as good." And just in the middle of the whole campus, Felicia groped herself. Kiku bit back a laugh.

Somehow that translated to Romina as sexual harassment via Ludwig, which was why they were now scrambling to their feet as Felicia's twin sister came tearing toward them with a bat, screaming curses at Ludwig's name. Felicia squealed and pulled Ludwig into the school as Kiku fumbled with a camera. He was just in time to catch Romina in classic tsundere mode. On a random tangent, he supposed he should try out for the school newspaper.

If Romina was tsundere…would that make Felicia yandere?

It looked like he would have to spend more time with Felicia and Ludwig.

--

Sadiq wasn't really his friend. He just happened to be another third year that liked to hang out with him. And talk to him. And wrap his arm around him. And insist that they should be closer.

Kiku wasn't familiar with too much physical contact, but he was sure the way Sadiq was rubbing circles in his back wasn't a very clean movement. After all, Herculia had told him about such things and Yong Soo had put his hands on every part of his body for him to know what was appropriate and what was not.

"So…ya know…if ya not doin' anythin' after school…"

"Hands off my boyfriend, you bastard." Herculia came out of nowhere, gripping Sadiq's wrist with almost inhuman strength. Maybe he should be ashamed of being saved by a girl, but all Kiku was worried about was being saved to begin with. Sadiq's face darkened.

"Kiku's my _friend_, you arrogant bitch."

"Well, he's my _boyfriend_ so it means we're closer, so that also means you don't have a right to touch him like you want to get in his pants." As Herculia drew herself up to full height to fully duke it out with Sadiq, Kiku wondered if it was wrong to want to take a few pictures of this. He could use it for reference material. And he was sure he could get a good price selling them to Elizavita.

"Don't think this is over, Herculia."

"Nope, nope, it's not, until I smash your face in and make sure it stays that way."

"Talkin' smack, girl? Kiku's _my_ friend."

"Nope, he's _my_ boyfriend. It overrules it."

"You can't be pullin' gender into it! We're both guys. We can do manly things."

"I knew you weren't straight since we were little and you liked to watch the paperboy's butt like I did."

"I did no such thing, you lethargic oaf."

These exchanges went on for a while and Kiku had already turned his attention back to his laptop and only looked up when Herculia smashed her fist into Sadiq's cheek and shifted away slightly so their fight couldn't touch him.

--

"Oh my god, are you _sure_ these photos weren't photo shopped or anything? They're gorgeous!" Elizavita cooed as she stared at a picture of Felicia and Ludwig sitting _very_ close to each other during assembly. She flipped the page and giggled at Romina's pout next to Antonio.

Kiku leaned back on the seat, feeling a bit like he was dealing drugs or something in the school library after hours. He was selling photos of inappropriate PDA to the school's gossip queen, who would surely circulate such things around the building. Normally, ethically, he wouldn't, but she paid well and he wouldn't mind buying a new inking pen. Or several. Or some Pocky too.

"Kiku Honda, seriously. You should be on the newspaper. Your pictures tell a wonderful story! Oh, and this one of Herculia and Sadiq…I want a copy."

"I'm willing to sell you these one-and-only copies for twenty dollars apiece." Because what use of these pictures did he have now? He had already committed them to memory and had already drawn them out. (He also scanned them and had a few more in his computer but Elizavita didn't need to know they weren't the only ones available. He could do business too)

"_Oh!_ What a bargain!" Elizavita looked around before leaning in. "Listen, do you do commissions? I heard a rumor that my bestie Roderick and Gilbert have some sexual tension and I would feel like I would lose myself I saw it in person and I wouldn't have the ability to actually take a picture. Would you be willing to film it, perhaps? I could pay well."

Kiku studied her, feeling more and more like he wasn't in school anymore although both were in uniform. He felt very Black Market; and it was somewhat fun. "What are you offering?"

"Let's just say you could get that tablet I know you've been wanting for a while."

Tablet~! Elizavita _did_ know everything. "Deal. I'll get you it by the end of next week."

"Pleasure doing business with you, Mr. Honda." Elizavita swept the photos into a manila folder and extended her hand.

"I hope we can work together more," Kiku agreed, taking her hand.

--

Dates with Herculia always consisted of going to her house and either writing, drawing, or napping ("It's so nice you could come over, Kiku," she said airily. "I want to show you something my mother unearthed; it's very cool. It's like a relic."). Occasionally, they went out, but it was a risk, seeing as Herculia might face plant any time and doze for a while. Kiku didn't have a problem with sitting and waiting, but it was always causing a scene and after the police asked him if he had done anything, they agreed to keep their dates local.

A Thursday afternoon found the two of them sitting in Herculia's room, with Kiku writing away at a new piece he had devised earlier that day, and Herculia sitting across from him, stroking one of her many cats.

"Kiku, I know you write about this a lot, but when was the last time we kissed?"

Startled, Kiku looked up. "Ah! I'm sorry. I shouldn't be writing. After all, I'm supposed to be spending time with you…"

"No, don't. That's not what I mean. I don't mind if you write or draw or anything. I was just wondering. You write about it, but you don't do it very often. Wouldn't it be more beneficial to have some…hands on sort of experience?"

Kiku flushed, unused to actually speaking about the subject. "Herculia, I…"

"I'm not talking about the full Monty. Just a kiss. With tongue." Herculia wasn't known to dodge the subject. "Maybe it would help you write."

Kiku paused. "Maybe it would."

So although he was the guy in the relationship (he wore the pants, last time he checked…!), he found himself beneath Herculia, who was attempting to kiss him senseless. Maybe, if he thought about this in an optimistic way, it was a good thing he was letting Herculia take control. He was…a feminist. Power to women and all that.

With a gasp, Kiku broke out of the kiss. "Ah! I'm sorry! But I just had a burst of inspiration! If you don't mind, can I write it down at least?"

Herculia smiled. "That's what it was for."

--

Internet cafes really were heaven on the planet. Kiku hummed to himself as he scrolled down the page. Yong Soo would never be caught dead here. His siblings didn't know about his usual haunt. Herculia was spending time with her mother (strangely enough, the two talked about their bonding rituals, which almost always involved nudity; he preferred to think of it as the two getting down to their Grecian roots). Sadiq was thankfully not on the premises.

For some odd reason, he glanced up and scanned the café. Waitresses and customers flooded his eyes but he picked out an individual in front of his own computer. Glasses, general demeanor of intellect – he was not a social person, but Kiku got up anyway and walked over to this man, who could have possibly been a college student.

"Hi," Kiku said, somewhat feeling another kindred spirit. "Is this seat taken?" He gestured to the seat across from the man.

"Oh? No. It's fine."

They sat in silence for a moment. "If you don't me saying so," the man said after a while, "you look awfully like what I would picture Japan to be like, if he was a person."

Kiku blinked. It was a strange kind of compliment. "Nations as people…that would be interesting."

"You think so? I've been pondering the idea." The man studied him. "Would you mind if I based a character in a web comic of mine off you? All in positive sense, of course."

"Oh, I wouldn't mind. I'm Kiku Honda, by the way." Because somehow, this exchange needed introductions.

"Hello. It's nice to meet you. I go by Himaruya. Hidekaz Himaruya."

Owari

--

Note: And THAT is how Hetalia was created. Just kidding, Himaruya-san, you still rock nonetheless. This is basically my life, if you took out the sleepy girlfriend, the perverted cousins, the crazy classmates, and the actual meeting of Himaruya. Mei is Taiwan, by the way. I like SpeakingThroughWrittenWord's Hong Kong's name Maddox, so I (kind of)stole it. All credits go to her. Japan could never be seme, even if he is the guy. I was a bit lost of how to cleverly insert the Axis Powers but I tried. I now love Sadiq more. Have a great day, guys. Review.

PS - Kiku supports 6984 and so should you!


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